Bon Mots/Good Words: Dealing with the Unexpected

Last Friday my daughter Rachel and I were wandering around the Amazon Bookstore at the Century Mall on Santa Monica Boulevard. While we were anxious to see what type of books are carried in a bricks and mortar Amazon store, we spent most of the time making witty remarks, or bon mots, about the various books we saw on display.  Many of them, not surprisingly, centered on my sudden transition from my job.

The strict translation of Bon Mots is “good words” but in reality it is used to indicate a witticism, a jest, or joke.  The pairing of “Good Words” with “Bon Mots” for me hints at two ways we deal with difficult situations. While the witticisms are easy, it is more difficult to be creative and positive under difficult circumstances.

What are the lessons learned from difficult work situations and how do you move forward in positive ways that are constructive personally and professionally?  Here are a few thoughts.

First of all, it is critical to get enough rest and exercise; both are important to getting back on track and moving forward in a positive way. I like to walk and for me it is a good way to de-stress.  I listen to a lot of audiobooks and when I’m walking a good audiobook transports me to somewhere else; a much needed respite.

Secondly it is important to be thankful for good people around you. Even when there are difficult, mean, or unethical people, you are surrounded by many good, caring, and amazing people. In my situation I’m very thankful for all of the staff at the Pollak Library. They are an incredible group of people who are dedicated to making a difference for CSUF Students.  I’m also thankful for many students that I’ve met: Marco Moreno, Dipen Patel, Arnuav Bora, Jaymin Joshi, Juan Villanueva and so many more.  I can’t end these brief thanks without mentioning CSUF photographer Matt Gush, who always made me feel appreciated. My wife and children have also been a great and constant support.

Reaching out to professional colleagues outside of work can provide needed perspective and advice. Having to step away from a job can easily make you question yourself, your values, the work you’ve done and the contributions that you feel you have made.  Professional colleagues cannot only help provide perspective they often can affirm the work that you’ve done; helping you know that your contributions to the profession are spot on.

Writing or journaling about your experience can help you process your thoughts, and feelings.  The writing process can often help you let go of anger or frustration as well as help you clarify what you believe and value.  I sometimes over think things and writing helps me work through the issues and either let them go or provide a new and productive way to deal with what I’m feeling.  

Moving forward I will be trying to concentrate on “Good words” without as many “Bon Mots”.